Does this mean every time we have a problem that we should club
them over the head? I think not. What do I mean by this? Don’t
be afraid to be different, be yourself, you wouldn’t believe how
many people will sell their soul to fit in. Why is all I want to
ask you?

When we first moved to Huron, Ohio 13 years ago I was bit nave
and thought it would be ok to talk about my mental health
disorder and I told people that I was mentally ill, I told them
how bad I used to be and how I self mutated myself.

I remember the first time this happened; they looked at me as if
I had cancer that you could catch, by breathing. What amazed me
is the fact that how all the rumors got started, and the whole
town knew that there was a psycho in the town! Stay away from
him! Now I must admit that when I first moved to this new town I
was hurt, even devastated and I felt like a piece of shit on a
stick!

Now I would try to recover the lost ground that I lost, but I
finally come to realize that I really don’t give a shit if
anyone in this town likes me or not! I can honestly say that
this is a true statement and that if people don’t like me for
who I am then they can go to hell.

I won’t pretend to be someone I am not, and all the people who
really know me, know I have heart of gold and would do anything
for just about anyone. Why was it so hard in those early years,
well it kind of goes like this, the people of this town are kind
of snobbish and think they are better than you or they are
trailer trash, that drink everyday, to drowned there sorrows!

Please stay with me here, it is a great little town and when you
meet the right people, ones that have some common sense and they
get to know you personally. They say to me my God Arthur, they
make you out to be a monster and you are a great person and I
have heard this repeatedly, repeatedly.

Well now that 13 years have passed, those same people who judged
me, when they had a plank in their own eye are still assholes. I
can’t single handily change that, but what I do, is this, know
that with God and me I have always got enough to be just as good
as any other person one the planet!

Yes, my self-confidence is growing rapidly and the same people
that have never even approached the fame and glory that I have
come to know as my life. I now have three books published and
they are all a smashing success and the futer gets brighter as
the days go along and I no longer worry about the folks I
consider dorks and yes the ones that drink themselves silly are
still doing it 13 years latter! Duh, do I have any brain cells
left?

I am now thirty-seven and my house is paid off. My cars are paid
for, my children don’t want for anything and My first book was
indorsed by Zig Ziglar and none of the commoners can say that
and I have even spoken at Zig Ziglars corporate office in Texas,
and have a hand written letter from Zig himself hanging on my
wall. How many people can claim that?

Now do I believe that I am better than anyone else is, I would
say it depends on whom you are talking about. God gives
us each a certain amount of talent and if you us all your
talent, you will be considered a grate success and those that
waste what they have and stay lost in the crowd they are going
to be sorry in the end, when they have serous of the liver.

I feel I am on my way to greatness and helping those that are
less fortunate than I am. Therefore, what I mean by walk tall is
this. Know you are special, that God does not make any mistakes,
and you are just as good as the next person or girl next door,
not some of the times, ALL THE TIME, you are special and you are
a winner.

When some one acts like they are better than you just show them
how big your stick is, what do I mean by this? Just simply that
you may not be as well known or liked, but if you use your God
given talent as they waste all theirs, then your stick is bigger
than there’s.

In the end they will all say you walked tall and were more
productive than most all of them anyway, your stick was bigger
than theirs is. So please my friend walk tall and carry a big
stick and someday when you are famous or you are just a better
person, then they are, you can just smile, because you let your
walking do the talking and you indeed carried a big stick!

The reason I wrote this article, is to show people that God
doesn’t play favorites and if you have a mental health disorder,
don’t sweat it they are coming up with more treatment every day
and one day you will look at your stick and see that you are
recovered. You have walked tall, please know you will be
rewarded for your effort!

Women are conditioned to be people pleasers. Women are taught to be “nice” even if that’s means comprising their happiness, and often times that is exactly what happens. We have a tendency to do, and say things just so the other person’s feelings don’t get hurt. How many times have you wanted to say something, but thought, you can’t say that, they might think you’re too harsh, or unpleasant. Times have changed, and now women are accepting their authenticity with grace and happiness. How did they do it? They changed their internal thoughts to reprogram their conditioning. Are you still playing “old tapes” that are in your head?

Take this quiz to find out if your thoughts are sabotaging your happiness.

1. You are at a dinner party, and you accidentally spill red wine on your dress and on the carpet, do you:

   1. Feel like a fool and hide out in the bathroom.

   2. Immediately get club soda to soak up the stain.

   3. Apologize profusely saying you are such a klutz.

2. You just lost a job promotion, do you:

   1. Feel frustrated! You are never going to get what you want, it seems like the whole world is against you.

   2. You feel nothing; you never expected to get it in the first place.

   3. Feel a little disappointed, but know something better will come your way soon.

3. When you buy an expensive item do you:

   1. Feel awkward and selfish.

   2. Feel like you deserve it.

   3. Guilty, because you bought it to fill a void.

4. When someone gives you a gift you hate, do you:

   1. Take it back, it’s no big deal.

   2. Keep it, just in case they came over and ask to see it.

   3. Call up a friend, and complain that you can’t believe they gave you such a horrible gift.

5. When you make a mistake, does the voice inside your head say:

   1. I could have made a better choice, oh well, I will do better the next time.

   2. I can’t believe I am so stupid, I am so mad at myself for doing that.

   3. Again, I keep making the same mistake over and over.

6. When a friend has overstepped your boundaries, do you:

   1. Get irate and really rip into them demanding that they never do that again.

   2. Simply call them on it, and explain that is not acceptable to you.

   3. Say nothing because you really don’t want to start an argument.

7. When someone gives you a compliment, do you:

   1. Graciously say thank you, and feel good about yourself.

   2. Awkwardly say thanks, and change the subject.

   3. Say no, and talk about how that statement isn’t true.

Results:

1. 1. Your thoughts are telling you that your sense of self is easily threatened, and you need to start working on your self-esteem. You run away from problems instead of dealing with them.

   2. You are a great problem solver, and your thoughts will assist you in getting what you want.

   3. Apologizing is a nice way to say that it was an accident, however profusely apologizing is an indication that you take on more responsible than necessary. Your thoughts are giving you more guilt than needed.

2. 1. You must change your thought process now! When your thoughts are negative, and you feel like you don’t have a good support system your thoughts will create that. Keep your thoughts positive!

   2. Your thoughts are keeping you safe. However staying in a safe mode, and not taking risks will leave you in a rut. Start thinking about a little risk taking.

   3. Your thoughts are right on target. It’s normal to feel a little disappointed, and it is healthy to get ready for the next opportunity.

3. 1. Thoughts that make you feel like you don’t deserve will keep you in a guilty mode. Start changing those thoughts to deserving ones.

   2. You thoughts are saying that you deserve to have nice things. Appropriately staying in your budget, and rewarding yourself now and again is healthy, and keeps you control.

   3. There is good news and bad news. The bad news is that having thoughts of guilt, and filling yourself up because you “need” something can be very damaging and destructive. The good news is that you now know this and, you can start to do something about it immediately. Change your thoughts to those that bring you a sense of self-worth, and start to see how you can fulfill your needs in the appropriate manner.

4. 1. Doing what you feel, and acting appropriate is healthy and smart. Why make a mountain out of a mole hill? Take care of the issue, and move forward.

   2. Your thoughts are keeping you in fearful state of mind. What if they should come by and ask to see their gift? The what ifs in life are very limiting. Release fearful thoughts, and do what is best for you.

   3. Your thoughts are keeping you in a victim position. Complaining and gossiping are sure ways to remain unhappy, and you can be certain you will get more of the same…negativity. Break that cycle now!

5. 1. Knowing that you have made a mistake and not “beating” yourself up over it is great! We all make mistakes, and when we learn from them and intend to do better the next time we will actually get wiser and more experienced. Your thoughts are in the right place.

   2. If you thoughts are punishing you, you will have a hard time learning, and you won’t try something new again for fear of failure. Release those kinds of thoughts and start working on self-confidence.

   3. Your thoughts are keeping you from learning from past mistakes, and you can be sentenced to a very long time of unhappiness. Observe and learn, it makes life a lot easier.

6. 1. You have thoughts of rage and anger. This is not necessarily the best way to handle problems. You need to figure out why you are so angry and resolve those feelings.

   2. Thoughts that help you problem-solve and communicate in a calm and mature way is the best bet. You can save friendships, and enforce your boundaries that will assure you happiness, and you will gain the respect of others too.

   3. Your thoughts are keeping you from facing the real issue. You don’t like confrontation, and hope the problem just goes away. Unless you start thinking about problem solving methods, the problem won’t go away, it will only get bigger.

7. 1. Accepting a compliment graciously means your thoughts are giving you a balanced sense self-esteem, humility, and ego. Way to go!

   2. Your thoughts need a little improvement. Your thoughts are saying thank you which means you believe the compliment; however changing the subject is telling you that you are uncomfortable with the attention.

   3. You are a willing victim. Your thoughts are keeping you in a martyr state of mind. This is not a recipe for happiness. Change that pattern pronto!

About The Author

Marla Sloane Ph.D. is a successful author and speaker. Her Daily Positive Affirmations subscribers have reached world-wide proportions, and her book, “The Masks We Wear and How to Live Without Them” is at the heart of her teleclasses; Live Your Best Life. Marla has also produced, Trilogy of Meditations, for your Mind, Body, and Spirit, which is distributed nationwide, and in Europe. You can visit her web site at: www.marlasloane.com.

marla@marlasloane.com

Years ago I remember reading a book or article by Zig Ziglar, on the eight universal needs of all mankind. Incorporating that information into my own life’s journey, has been a guiding principal in my writing, teaching and interactions with others. He said and I agree, that everyone, no matter their position, income level, and gender, place of employment or birth desires these things to come to pass in their lives:

To be happy

To have friends
To be healthy

To have peace of mind
To be reasonably prosperous

To have good relationships
To be secure

To have hope in the future

In order to fulfill these eight universal needs, we will have to put forth the effort to set and accomplish goals.

We all achieve in different ways. Hope, luck, being in the right place at the right time or taking advantage of opportunities presented to us are just some of the ways we find ourselves standing where we want to stand. Those are outside forces that happen by chance, not design. And just as those forces can bring great joy, they can also bring great disappointment and sorrow. If we truly want to design our own path, then we must chart an action plan that will bring us closer to our own clearly defined and sought after personal goals.

After you have determined what you don’t want in life and then turned it around to look closely at what you do want, you are ready to begin the journey at how best to achieve it. The following SMART keys will help you to cement the goal in your mind, spirit and body and allow the doors and windows of the universe to open and spill great blessings on you. Focus on abundance, not lack.

Specific: Can you see it clearly in your mind? If you can’t visualize it, with a clear picture you won’t achieve it. So don’t say “I’m going to lose weight,” say “I’m going to be in a size 10 Wrangler boot cut, faded blue jeans.”

Measurable: Not every goal is measurable, but you should be able to see a marked improvement. For instance if your goal is to listen more carefully to your children, by the end of two weeks you should be able to see that you are being more mindful in conversations. You are interrupting only twice a day!

Action Oriented: Break the big goal down into a number of smaller, easily achievable tasks. You do not want to be overwhelmed nor do you want it to be so easy that you are not stretching. Think of it as a long road trip and you will stop at a number of gas stations along the way to refuel and check the oil. You may decide to take an alternative route along the way, but at least you will be moving in the right direction.

Realistic: Make sure your goals are ones that are grounded by natural law. You may set a goal to play ladies basketball on a college level, but if you are not a woman, in college, talented in basketball and willing to put forth supreme effort, the chances are that you will not reach that goal. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t decide to learn as much about women’s basketball as you possibly cans so that you will enjoy following the sport and perhaps write a book about it.

Timely: The most successful goals are those that are reached within a reasonable time frame, so that one does not get discouraged along the way. Set daily, weekly and monthly goals when you are beginning, in order to see rapid improvement, or reevaluate where you are headed. When you have a time frame to work within, you are more encouraged to finish. Putting an end date on your goal gives you a clear target to shoot for.

You are a SMART person and I know that you will achieve your goals and aspirations .Don’t star in someone else’s parade. Dream big!

I believe in you and you deserve the very best life has to offer.

© Judy H. Wright, http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Staying motivated enough to be able to see things through to completion is something that is needed more and more today.

In an age of instant food, instant movies, instant cash
from ATM’s, and instant messaging, it is almost no wonder that we get distracted so easily.

Satisfaction comes, so often, from the quick delivery of what we desire; dissatisfaction can often come if we do not achieve, get, or complete things as quickly as we’d like. Then we lose interest.

Let’s take a minute here, and examine just what procrastination is and how we can deal with it.

1. Never being pushed to finish what you started, when you were young. Yes, it is important, very important, to encourage (and push) your children to finish things, and learn to do them right the first time.

2. Being so activity conscious, that you never have time to accomplish, or set priorities. This produces a sense of being driven. The result - no push, no accomplishment (of the things that you desire).

3. Having few, or no tangible goals for your life. This
results in simply being driven by whatever wind might come your way.

4. Not knowing how to say “no” to others - when you need to.

5. Not wanting to do those things.

While the above things may cause a lack of being able to focus on various tasks, knowing what is procrastination and doing something about is two different things.

Here are a few points that should help you to get focused:

1. Figure out what it is that stops you.

Why are you constantly flitting from one thing to another? Do you just lose interest? Are you too busy? Friends come over to see you - what is it?

Become aware of how you put off doing what matters. Then, make small changes to how you structure your day to eliminate these productivity vampires.

2. Choose the important things in your life.

After you decide what is distracting you, you then can
start to look for ways to stop letting those things
interfere. Select some goals and get more focused on these things.

Take a few moments throughout the day to refocus - to
remind yourself what your goals are and why you want to
achieve them. Think more about the important activities and block out the lesser tasks until later.

3. Learn to say no.

Some activities just have no real value, or are merely time wasters. Try to eliminate these things and stay focused on your goals. Create more time to accomplish your goals by cutting out some things that have lesser values than your goals.

You can be diplomatic and say no. You have every right to give priority to your objectives without taking on the problems of everyone else in your life.

4. Be more goal conscious.

Put your goals where you can see them everyday - on your bedroom, or bathroom mirror. Then as you go through our day, they will stick with you more.

These little reminders are sometimes all you need to stay on track. A few practical changes can make a big difference to how well you stay motivated all day long.

These tips will help you if you are willing to start with number one and see it to completion.

Start small if you like and as your confidence grows build up to bigger goals. Remember to make this a daily habit and you will be able to keep on going even at times when you face setbacks.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: motivation techniques.

In principle, we don’t want to give up coaching employees. We want to believe that we can eventually make a difference. Sometimes it’s our own ego that drives our persistence and determination.

In reality, if we have followed the coaching process, we have honored our stewardship as a coach. This is especially true if we have followed the process for a significant period of time. However, coaches often make the mistake of staking their pride and confidence as a coach on one or two challenging situations. This can be dangerous! It would be nice to believe that we have that much control over another human being. However, everyone has the right to choose their own destiny. We can’t force change; we can’t even motivate someone else. But, we can clarify, explain, explore, highlight, recommend, and encourage. When coaching employees, we have to decide when to “back off,” and let the situation either improve or deteriorate.

For years, CMOE has advised coaches to follow-up and be persistent a little longer than expected. Coaching employees takes patience - a lot of patience! But, don’t be unreasonable. If the topic permits, allow some time for the right decisions and actions to kick in. When dealing with policy, ethics, values, safety, or legal issues, explain the timeline to the coachee. We are not suggesting an ultimatum. Just explain the time sensitivity and create a time boundary.

Check in frequently with the coachee to see how they are doing, and remind them of the timeframe. If there is insufficient responsiveness or progress, this may indicate a lack of judgment, character, integrity, or indifference. When these signals arise, do a quick reality check:

• Have you diagnosed the situation?
  
• Have you tried all of the coaching skills?
  
• Have you involved others in an appropriate way?
  

If you answer “yes” to these questions, then you need to look at your next best option to a coaching solution.

Alternatives to Coaching Employees:

1. Discuss the dilemma with the coachee. Ask for a recommendation or solution.
   
2. Redefine roles and responsibilities.
   
3. Consult with your own manager.
   
4. Seek good counsel from HR professionals.
   
5. Actively administer and institute the appropriate consequences, both positive and negative.
   
6. Explore a completely different assignment for the coachee with a different boss. Inform the new boss of the situation from your perspective.
   
7. Explore, with the coachee, whether or not he/she is a good fit for the organization. Know when enough is enough.
   

Coaching employees takes time, energy, and patience. The bottom line is that you can’t let your big coaching challenges pull you down. Remember that it takes two to tango, and “influence” has its limits.

To find out more about how to maximize you influence when coaching employees, visit CMOE or contact one of our Regional Managers who can help you to determine you exact coaching need. You can reach them at (801) 569-3444 or email tsmith@cmoe.com

There is a pervasive belief that creativity and innovation are separate and distinct from the concept of science. That creativity and innovation cannot be scientific. This is completely false.

An event begins to fall into the realms of science when experiments are repeatable and the results reproducible. The myth that creativity occurs out of the blue combines to create the impression that it is impossible to design repeatable experiments that generate reproducible results.

One useful definition for this article is to define creativity as problem identification and idea generation and innovation as idea selection, development and commercialisation.

To make creativity scientific, ask two questions:

a) Can repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) be designed to increase problem identification? Is an increase of output reproducible?

b) Can repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) be designed to increase idea generation? Is an increase of output reproducible?

To make innovation scientific, ask three questions:

a) Can repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) be designed to increase idea selection effectiveness? Is an increase of output reproducible?

b) Can repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) be designed to increase development output? Is an increase of output reproducible?

c) Can repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) be designed to increase commercialisation output? Is an increase of output reproducible?

Answering the above:

a) It is not unusual for people to agree that repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) can be designed to increase problem identification. Results - an increase of output - are reproducible.

b) When people need to generate ideas, they will herd people into a room with a flip chart and conduct an idea brainstorming session. Implicit in this action is the acceptance that certain processes and structures etc… increase idea generation. In fact there are an infinite number of processes and structures that increase idea generation and make insight more likely (see MBA dissertation at www.managing-creativity.com). Results - an increase of output - are reproducible.

c) It is not unusual for people to agree that repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) can be designed to increase problem idea selection effectiveness. Results - an increase of output - are reproducible.

d) It is not unusual for people to agree that repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) can be designed to increase development output. Results - an increase of output - are reproducible.

e) It is not unusual for people to agree that repeatable experiments (processes, structures etc) can be designed to increase commercialisation output. Results - an increase of output - are reproducible.

In conclusion, given the nature of creativity and innovation, it may not be possible to design repeatable experiments that produce exactly the same ideas, but it is possible to design repeatable experiments that always produce an increase in idea generation. Though you cannot predict what an idea will be, where it will occur and what form it will take you can increase the likelihood of ideas occurring. Further, you can increase the number of ideas produced, the rarity of those ideas, the diversity of those ideas and the frequency of their production.

There is much more to this……

This topic is covered in depth in the MBA dissertation on Managing Creativity & Innovation, which can be purchased (along with a Creativity and Innovation DIY Audit, Good Idea Generator Software and Power Point Presentation) from http://www.managing-creativity.com. You can also receive a regular, free newsletter by entering your email address at this site.

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You are free to reproduce this article as long as no changes are made and the author’s name and site URL are retained.

Kal Bishop MBA is a management consultant based in London, UK. He has consulted in the visual media and software industries and for clients such as Toshiba and Transport for London. He has led Improv, creativity and innovation workshops, exhibited artwork in San Francisco, Los Angeles and London and written a number of screenplays. He is a passionate traveller. He can be reached on http://www.managing-creativity.com